Churning it Out

Chugging along
Changing the feel of summer, near gone
Finding time, finally, to finish some thoughts

Day to day: lived the same simple way
But happy to be just so briefly free.
Well, free, if not for that small friend in me
Whispering words of cruel intentions
Every day less, but never distant.


Well, troubles abound
I still see the way to be me.

A week of things learned
A week of friends earned
No - found

Long days concluded with hot oven
Fresh food
Quietude found.


 Some Noshing, in order of its naming
- That Sourdough Light Rye, above, to perfect

-These Refrigerator Pickles, simple, still pickling

So simple, this pickle:

1 Cucumber, 2 Carrots, 3 Tablespoons of Rice Wine Vinegar

Some Basil, Cilantro, Pepper and salt

Topped off with water

Good things do start...

-Finally, well poached egg atop that bread

Some Kimchi and corn, sauteed with Chicken Sausage

Salad warm...

Peachy

Picking peaches piled and fallen
forgotten and free like few things
for me...

Brown Bananas - brace for baking
Long tired weekends - Perfectly needed
To usher one last week:
Bake the lab a treat

Banana Bread with Lemony Hints of Peach

 350 degrees, some 40 minutes please.
1 1/4 cup flour - your mill of favor+1 teaspoon baking soda:
Half whole wheat in this loaf.
2 bananas - large and ripe - mashed with 1 peach - skinned.
Eggs, fruit, sugar (1 cup), and spice: all mashed, all kneaded.
Oh, and a dash of vanilla and lemon extracts - so very needed!
1/4 cup oil and equal part yogurt: moist and healthy, or so I tell me.

2 thin loaves, or 1 thick. Don't overdo it, mixing or to bake.

Blunt

I'll be Frank.
My name is Ben. I study the biology of plants and for an interest in the subjects of food, hunger, and all things masticated.
Why do I have that interest? Well, I am Italian. I love to please, serve, impress, and perfect. I love science and have long dreamed of life as a restaurateur. It all began with an article on Wheat Rust, one on Cassava as a staple grain, and the Culinary institute of America set down the road.
Most realistically, I am an Anorexic; fighting the need to run and ride. I have had Anorexia Athletica for, perhaps, four years now. It all began...
Well I know when. Little matters it to you. Really, little matters it to me.
What matters is that I'm finally in a place where I can see - at least in the mirror - the real me.
It will be long and slow, but a marching I will go.

Marching with a desire to eat and a strong stomach decidedly against it.
No

A poisoned eye too small for my stomach
Until Pretzels are involved - my gateway Nosh


But here's my weekend food for thought. Maybe you'll find it fair and take a share.
Latkes and Zucchini Cakes.
The former shallow fried, the latter baked.
Sad evidence for the rectifying power of hot oil and flour...

Thank you Bon Apetit. For a change, I finally followed a recipe of yours

Progressions

Thinking then thoughts
Things which were
I slept, now stir
Good ideas to things that were
All of life is a change from there to here
I Present pursue the way things were

Food fights, I fidget
Harbor gripes
I'll one day get with it
But for now, feeling without
I cook to remember
Not the taste of my cake - for I dare not eat it
But the reasons for which I fight this mistake
Mighty misgivings - food for thought
Something I now must enjoy
Or, in least, just take.

Take a bite of Biscotti - Crispy almost Grainy
A recipe to work on: Gluten free and hard-won
Speckled with Chcoolate, Diced Figs, and little bits
Rice flour, Sorghum, Cornmeal, and so crumbly!
Sad to say, the least of these recipes...

SO far...

 I'll next add more sugar, lose Cornmeal, bake shorter.

Next and well made, but too rich to this current state
Green pesto, Arugula's manifesto
Walnuts, Evoo, that tender Green (Arugula I mean)
and roasted garlic.

I borrowed a it to make Peach-topped toasts

I'll next add more garlic, half roast...

Finally, and simplest of all;
My favorite make this week was
Figs soaked and sweet
Jarred in reduced Chardonay simmered down
a splash of Agave, and herbs from the garden:
A little Rosemary, what little Lavender.

I'll serve it with Chevre

If it lasts so long...

These Days

It seems harder and harder
The soaking, the mixing, fry pans sauteeing
Especially, and most sadly my baking.
I know for a fact, I still love a light crumb
A wafting scent of bread and butter
Or the crackle and bubbling of a stove-top
Something.

It takes a village to villify
Just me to venerate
Both to enjoy a dinner party
While fighting my fears
Sweetening this distaste.

So I thought I'd use that fish, those tortillas, some salt
Cilantro, Red rice, Black Beans, no faults.

Loosely inspired by The Times Salsa Verde
A Good Meal's grilled fish
Garnished with Avocado, Sweet Mango, and fresh slaw
Good friends, some wine, night air
Maybe I'm just fine
If only for a time.

Tomatillo Salsa
A sole clove of Garlic, roasted-minced, added to the called-for:
6 Tomatillos, blanched and minced
1/2 onion, diced small
a few tablespoons of lime juice, less is more...
1/4 cup Cilantro, pepper, and salt to taste
Some water to your liking and help to blend
Next time: diced chiles, roasted or fresh.
Pureed in blender, too thin to call salsa, reduced for a time to your liking

Simple Grilled Mahi
Marinated in a light mix
Salt, pepper, Cilantro, and lime
Some olive oil, diced onion, pepper flakes, and time.
Grilled until firm, 3 minutes to a side, hopefully leaving some char marks
Few are fine; Better juicy than over-timed.

Serve family style your garnish and fish - some chicken was used, to shore up the dish -
Rice and Beans - simmered with cilantro and salsa, salt and lime - seperate but equal
Red Rice (whole grain!) this time.

I wish I'd enjoyed it.
Was it fear? Certainly.
Of food, flavor, reception, each calorie?
I can't say but see them clearer by the day.
Victory at hand?
Just maybe.